With Joel traveling so much and us not fully getting a chance to milk our first summer in Colorado together, Joel made a promise to me about a month ago that he would take this last weekend off from playing shows and we would take full advantage of a full weekend to go camping one more time in the mountains before they fill with those beautiful snow caps.

When we first moved here, it was this time last year. Joel tried hard to contact different resorts to try and set up shows, but most places book months, sometimes a year, in advance. Knowing that his music would be so perfect in the background, next to an amazing stone fire place in a mountain resort, having people come in and out off the mountains, he persisted. He was just recently contacted by the Ritz Carlton in Beaver Creek and he set up his 'interview' for Friday, knowing we would be passing through on our way camping. After getting done with work 2 hours early and cruising home on the most perfect Fall day, we packed up and were headed for the mountains, in my car. BAD IDEA. Long story short, we were completely stopped on the highway because vehicles in front of us had voluntarily stopped and then proceeded to go 25 mph because it was pure ice once we got to the Eisenhower tunnel before entering Vail. As we sat there, Joel, in the drivers seat, reacted like a truck was coming straight for him and sure enough, there was a truck sliding right for my car. Thank you to the stone median and the fact that it was just a truck and not a semi. We thought it was going to come straight over. Kelsey was there with us on that one. As we began to drive away, I worried for the person in that truck, knowing they were now facing the wrong way and right around a corner where cars coming his way were now flying out of that tunnel. A ways down the road, we saw an ambulance and a firetruck heading that way and I had to tell myself that it wasn't for that guy. 

Once we safely got to the Ritz Carlton about an hour and a half late, I was amazed at how huge and beautiful the resort was and immediately wished I had put makeup on and wasn't dressed to go camping. After intending to just go inside to the bathroom and not sit in on Joel's interview, I don't know how I ended up in there. Listening to Joel talk his music up and sell himself was refreshing to me and I was even asked a couple questions by the manager; What are 3 words I would use to describe Joel/ his music and if there was one thing I would change about him, what would it be? First of all, this is something that Joel has never done. He's never had to 'interview.' Apparently this place is so high end, you don't just play music for them, you pass an online application, go through multiple interviews, you are on the payroll, make an hourly wage, and reap the benefits of an actual employee. Which, made Joel and I smile specifically because both managers loved him and because you get discounted prices on many, many high end hotels and resorts around the world. At about 10:30 we were back on those icy roads and headed for Deep Lake Campground. Last week we did a little research on campsites and found that only a handful were open through October. We choose Deep Lake Campground because it looked the prettiest and seemed the nicest. Let me tell you, they failed big time on specifying that the drive was two hours on a dirt, narrow road up the side of a snowy, slippery mountain. Keep in mind we are in my Fushion and not Joel's Sequoia. This is what it looked like on Joel's phone.

Here, let's zoom a bit.

This. On a snowy, narrow mountain side in a little car at night time. The farther and farther we went up the mountain, the more snow came, obviously. We eventually got to a point where we both agreed that if we parked, and it snowed more, we would be stuck for sure. Saturday, we were told many people have had to abandon their cars up there during winter time and wait for the snow to melt. Anyways, after crying out of frustration and telling Joel this was not how I had pictured camping and being a little too dramatic, we decided to go down a ways, park and sleep in the car. Thank you to Joel's 20 degree sleeping bag, we both slept comfortably, but only for a couple hours. I laugh about it now only because we survived, got to watch the beautiful sunrise from the top of a mountain, and made it down safely.

We were pretty stoked to finally be on a paved road again and drove about 15 minutes to the campsite that was second on our list it should have been first.

It was chilly, yes, but the sun was constantly shining and the hot apple cider was endless. Too many times I looked over at Joel and we'd agree how content we felt just sitting there. The only thing that made Joel not so content was loosing to me in Battleship too many times in a row, like he usually does. The scenery won't change your skill level, babe. Shortly after noon we headed into town for Glenwood's Oktober Fest where we laughed at how life works out. We far too often fall upon greatness. This life is just too good to us. 

After making friends at the Fest and hanging out on the edge of the Colorado River and listening to Joel play his beloved, we headed back to the campsite and went to bed at 8:30 caught up on some sleep. We woke up early Sunday morning, drank our coffee, ate our coffee cake and got our protein from that delicious Alaskan salom that we luckily haven't run out of yet, and were off to hike Hanging Lake. Have you heard of Hanging Lake? Google it. And visit it someday, if you can. It's amazing. Aside from my knee hurting here and there, the treacherous, 1 mile hike was worth it and I got a handful of compliments on my shirt. 

 

 

After the hike, we grilled some more food and were headed home. Our weekend was successful and quite adventurous. Although, Joel was not done. He drove us right to Red Rocks to show me more amazingness and we were there as the sun went down and the clouds turned orange and pink. This weekend, I crossed off two places on my 'Places to Visit' list and we learned our lesson in taking my car anywhere towards those beautiful mountains. Never again! 

Also, this week, I went to the dentist for the first time in a year and a half and tried squash and liked it for the first time in my life. It was a pretty epic week. 

It's funny because I started a blog last night about how ridiculously happy and high on life I was (what's new) and here I am, so thankful to have left work and my monstrous two year olds and their non-listening ears 2 hours early, but I have still been reminded of how good life is and how I need to continue to appreciate 'the little things.' Yes, here I am, blogging about life's greatness and all the little things that remind me so. Again, what's new? After the longest and most frustrating day I think I've had yet, at Goddard, a day full of 10 two year olds pulling each other's hair and clothes, pushing and hitting and even kicking each other, and almost always hearing "NO!" after I've asked them to do something, I was reminded by my co-teacher who brought me Starbucks after her break, that I am not in this alone. After accidentally being somewhat rude to a fellow co-worker on my lunch break, out of frustration with my day, I felt awful and childish, like my two year olds, lashing out and yelling because someone took their baby doll. I was quick to apologize and explain that I was having a tough day but that was no excuse. As I got back into my room after my lunch break and started to clean, I thought to myself, "I am going to embrace this silence," because it took my crabby kids longer to fall asleep today, some an hour later than when they usually do. As the thought crossed my mind, one of my girls woke up screaming because dad forgot to bring her binkie to school today and she was having trouble sleeping without it. I took a deep breath and went to pat her back back to sleep as I looked up and honestly, asked my homeboy upstairs if he could please make her go back to sleep before she woke up the rest of my overly-crabby kids. As little miss no-binkie fell back asleep, another woke up. And another. The cleaning had to get done so I continued to clean in hopes that my babes awake would stay quietly on their beds. 10 minutes later, the co-worker I was rude to, came in and asked me what I had for her to do. Thinking, shoot, principles office, I'm getting a talking to.. which means my directors office, she said, "You get to go home." As I happily packed up my things and pretty much ran out of the center, yelling to my director on my way out, that tomorrow's a new day and that I'm going to bring a good, positive attitude to work, that's when I crossed path's with my thoughtful co-teacher who placed a Starbucks in my hand. As I stopped in my tracks and dramatically slouched my head and shoulders with appreciation, I thought I might cry. It has been ages since I've had such a frustrating day that I felt like tears would do me good. They haven't come yet, although I thought on the way home that a solid cry would have been amazing. I told my center owner today that tonight, I was going to do all the things that make me happy; drink wine, clean, do laundry, listen to techno and watch a little HGTV. Phew, I feel better even having just written all this down. Blogging should have been on that list. 

As I pulled into my driveway and grabbed my work things out of my car, I was approached by my neighbor; a sweet, old lady who lives across the street. For the last few months, she has lived in one side of a duplex, which she owns, and in the other side lives the shittiest person you've ever met in your life. Now, I have a problem with rude people, we know this. I know that we are all human, and sometimes people have bad days (me earlier) but this man sucks. He has 3 young kids, who he swears and yells at and constantly lets run wild, and he hasn't paid this sweet, old lady rent in months. As she's asking me when Joel gets back, to help her move his things out, which was court ordered and a mess, she started to cry. I swear, at that moment, I wanted to hug her and cry with her. On top of my day, I saw how hurt she is and has been, dealing with this man who promised her that he would shovel in the winter and mow the lawn in the summer and hasn't done so since he's moved in. I am looking forward to the time when he's out of there and she doesn't have to deal with the stress and I no longer have to sit in my kitchen on a Saturday and listen to this man yell at his kids and be a terrible parent. Joel and I have said to each other many times, how sorry we feel for these kids because they know nothing different. They are being raised by someone terrible, who is doing this parent thing wrong, in my opinion, so hopefully someday they are level headed enough to realize what it is to be a good person. 

As I'm feeling better by the minute, having gotten all this out and finished my first load of laundry since I've been home, let me tell you what I intended to blog about last night. It's so funny, reading books and articles on making positive changes in your life, and taking measures to actually do so. I am proud of myself for living in the moment more. The last couple days, as I've gotten on my laptop to accomplish things for work, and I've put the work aside and taken the time to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in awhile because the work can always come later. I'm getting better about taking the time to love Joel a little better and give him that 'physical touch' love language that he needs to keep his 'love tank full.' I will always go back to reference that book. Even when I'm motivated to get things done and Oscar or Olive comes to lay on my lap and rub their furry cheeks on me with their love, I take the time to pet them and cuddle them for a minute, because that's important to them. Okay, I sound like a crazy cat lady. Happily. Doing these little things is so much easier said than done, 'living in the moment' in general, is easier said than done. But the feeling you get when you can actually see yourself making those changes, is rewarding.

Last night after catching up with my mom via Skype, I love you, technology, she informed me that her and my dad would be buying mine and Joel's plane tickets home for Christmas this year. After spending about 2 hours at Hobby Lobby in the Christmas section the other night, and smelling all of the Fall and Holiday scented candles at Wal-Mart yesterday, I could not be more ready for the end of the year. As I get older, I find myself loving the start of Fall and that part of the year more and more. Years ago, I would have never been caught saying that I was ready for Fall in the middle of August. Here I am, smelling my rustic retreat candle and looking so forward to buying pumpkins with Joel this year, because he'll be home this year, unlike last. I've always known how amazing my friends and family are, but having lived 17 hours away from all of my people for the last almost year, I've grown a stronger love and appreciation for them. I've also grown an appreciation for where I grew up. Since I've lived in Colorado, I haven't done a handful of my favorite things, simply because they aren't available here. Back home, in the Midwest, I had the Mall of America about 40 minutes away, I had the Minnesota State Fair about 35 minutes away, I had the Renaissance Festival about an hour away. I grew up on the St. Croix River and spent my summers there. Given I have mountains here, which are pretty amazing, I won't be experiencing the Renaissance Festival this year because it's about 4 hours away, along with eating my favorite, deep fried pickles at the State Fair because that's about 2 hours away. I may be being a bit of a baby here, but I look forward to the day that I can raise my family back in the Midwest so they can experience all the great things that I grew up with. Joel and I moved out to Colorado with the mentality of possibly staying forever. Well, we've decided that our love for the mountains will be met again when we have kids that aren't itty bitty, but who won't hate us for moving them 17 hours away from their friends either. Being home a few weekends back over Durand, it was confirmed that I need to have my babies grow up where I grew up, simply because having the support system of your family and friends doesn't compare to how gorgeous the mountains are. 

Let the Sun Shine.

This is far too good to not share and it's far too large to set as my Facebook status. Or so I think.

Enjoy!  

 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you; Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight; Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give your best anyway. 

 

And if the music is good, you dance.

Last night, as I was reading my amazing little book on happiness, Joel called to inform me that there had been some miscommunication and he did not have a show at that little country bar I spoke of. Deciding what to wear and putting makeup on my face did not sound like something I wanted to do when I was cozy on my couch, already in my comfy clothes, book in hand, lap top to my side, candles and incense lit. But for some reason I felt like being spontaneous so I threw on some makeup and a maxi dress and popped the top off my new favorite cider beer.

After running into some people we hadn't seen in awhile, giving them hugs and sharing a few laughs on the street, we accidentally fell into a great night. There's a bar in Loveland that plays all my favorite kinds of music; techno, dubstep, house, you name it, and they have DJs through every weekend. There was a very talented girl mixing all my favorite songs, so of course, I was immediately in love with her and everything she was doing. She took a break and I took full advantage of the opportunity to tell her how great she is and how much I was inspired and how badly I wanted her skills. Joel turned to me and informed me that when he makes enough money someday, he would be happy to buy me my own set of turn tables. I made him promise and then I laughed as I told Joel and his buddy about how I should have been on the show "Made" back in 2004. "I work in Childcare but I want to be a DJ." Do you remember that show? How entertaining. I still think it would be an amazing hobby. I can see it now, childcare by day, DJ by night. Sounds like madness if you ask me. And to sit and mix so many amazing songs and artists together and give people fun beats to get jiggy to, ugh, it sounds like something I want to be fully apart of. Because you know I would be ripping it up behind those tables to all my own beats. It makes me laugh when people ask me what my favorite kind of music is. It catches them off guard for some reason, that I don't understand. Do I not look like someone who likes to get lost in music on the dance floor? "Do you like... dance with glow sticks?" is the question that I particularly loved one time. I mean, I have, yes, and if you haven't, try it sometime! Put that neon pink and yellow glow stick around your head as a head band, put some on your wrists and enjoy everything you are doing. Joel and I were talking about how opposite we are when it comes to music. He plays acoustic guitar and I love my techno and want to DJ as a hobby. That sounds like a reality tv show right there ;) Just kidding! The DJ's name was Chelsea and we laughed as I told her my name and that apparently we were destined to meet. Moving here from Texas with her boyfriend, who also DJs and has taught her everything she knows, she is always looking to make sweet, new friends, just like I am. What completely sucked me in was the moment she started playing a song that came out in the early 90s when techno and house music first started to surface. I remember being in middle school, my brother in high school, and I missed the bus one day. My brother, who is 5 years older was not so thrilled to have to take his little sister to school but let me tell you how thrilled I was after the fact. And I'm sure I had a 5 star day, because we all know music can do that to you. Anyways, Chelsea remixed the song that my brother played in the car that morning. That song was also remixed by Tiesto the first time I had ever seen him in Chicago and the memory of my brother first introducing it to me makes me smile. For some reason that song just sings to me, literally. After exchanging contact info with my new favorite local DJ, and both making it clear that we needed to see each other again, we went home after a very successful night spent on the dance floor. 

See you every single Friday, Chelsmosis, you are awesome. 

The Happy Ones See Only Beautiful Things.

During my two and a half hour long lunch break today, I had Joel meet me somewhere between Loveland and Longmont to take full advantage of my time and enjoy some Starbucks and a community garage sale together. The neon pink sign screamed at me as I passed it this morning. Along with two camping chairs, a garden hose, two lamps, a couple nick nacks, Battleship... yes, Battleship (50 wonderful cents spent) and a book about happiness, I felt it was a pretty wise $10 spent. Now, you know me, being the sucker that I am for quote books, I could not walk away from the gem I found today; a book called, "I Wish You Happiness" and it's a book written entirely by children. Umm, does it get any better? As I sit here on this lovely Friday, refusing to go to Joel's show at a little country bar that is entirely not my scene, I am reading this amazingness, smiling and even laughing to myself. Now, upon opening the book, I figured it was full of happiness quotes and then amongst all the goodies, occassional quotes by children. Oh no, entirely by children. At first I couldn't figure out why the publishing company would allow so many spelling and grammar errors. And then I realized that children wrote their thoughts and it was put in the book completely, 100% their own. How awesome. Let me show you how great this is: 

The things that make me happy are

flowers and dimonds and butterflys and

ladybirds all things that are coloured

and clowns make me laughe and the sun

and summer and the snow makes me

happy and toys makes me and sweets and 

the hedgehogs are nice althow they are

prickly and I think everything makes

St. Valantine very happy and sheep and cow's and 

goates and I like the birds and it makes

me laughe when I see peple with arrows

through there ears and I like the rainbow

and the lightness and I like the stars and

the moon and I like the fields and I like 

neklises and braselits. 

-Elizabeth Wright

Unfortunately, this is one of the few without an age written by the name but, holy moly is that awesome. I just smiled as I read and laughed out loud at parts, especially the last line and it's most likely because of the spelling. Oh, seeing the world through the eyes of children. It's times like this that I again think how lucky I am to have the job that I do and have been able to stay in it, happily for almost six years. The fact that I get to teach, and play with, and talk to two year olds 40 hours a week is something special. Being silly with them, and teaching them manners and how to love their friends and give hugs and all that emotional, good stuff, ugh, it just makes me happy thinking about how I spend my days. The other day as I sat outside in the grass with a couple of my girls, I was fixing one of their pony tails when one came up to me, nicely stroked a solid strand of hair of mine and said, "Ms. Kelsey hair pretty." It's moments like this that make my job. Reminding my two year olds that it's important to tell their friends "thank you" and that they "willy like the dinoswar" shirt that they're wearing today is important to me. KinderCare ladies back home, you can imagine how big I am on having my two year olds give each other hugs. Ah, I just love my kids. 

The other week, I was asked by my director and owner if I would like to step up to a lead teacher position, because their was an opening. As you may already know, I am qualified but stepped down to "Assistant Teacher" when I took the job, because that was what was available at the time. Now 4 months later, my director has informed me that I have instilled so much trust and confidence in her and have shown so many lead teachers tendencies and qualities that she no longer wants me to assist, she wants me to be able to have my own room. The two and half year old room was available and the more I thought about it, the more stressed and nervous I became, simply because two is my comfort zone age limit, believe it or not. Given I work well with all children but I do so much better with the younger ages. It simply comes more natural to me. So luckily, my co-teacher who was, at the time, the lead teacher, who is so flexible and great, stepped down from the lead teacher position in our room, so I could have it and went to the room next door, so I didn't have to leave my comfort zone and all of our awesome children. Needless to say, I bought her a card and a coffee and told her how much I appreciate her doing so, just so we could both have our own rooms. It's been a change this week, having a new assistant teacher, but any change is challenging with two year olds. I am aware that after a few weeks, everyone will be comfortable again. The summer months are pretty easy to coast through and all my lesson plans are done through July. Thank you awesome co-teacher! So starting August I will be fully in charge of daily lessons and all that good stuff. From what I hear, it's work... that I'm not used to (KinderCare curriculum was all laid out for you, all you had to do was implement) so it will be a change. But it's definitely something I can do, especially with the slight raise I demanded.

Cheers!

You > The World

There's something wonderful about the sun continuing to shine through my front room window at almost 8 PM. After sporting the heaviest heart for the last 24 hours, it feels great to be reminded that there is still so much good on a day to day basis, things as simple as the sun shining on your face. 

Yesterday morning, a beautiful, amazing soul passed away after his fight with cancer. Zach Sobiech, if you remember him from my last post, died at his home yesterday surrounded by friends, family and girlfriend. Although, I didn't know Zach personally, my heart immediately ached after learning of his death, and I felt tears in my eyes for the people in his life that were close to him. Zach made such an impact on people around the world, being 17 and learning he had only a short time left on this earth. After watching his video on YouTube, "My Last Days," (If you haven't watched it, I suggest you do) I immediately thought of all the people in this world that don't get to say goodbye. Zach said in his video that he was never one to talk about feelings much, so he felt it was easier to turn to music, to help him say good bye to the people he loved, simply so they would remember the words forever and think of the song even after he was unable to sing it. Zach was lucky enough to have something great. Zach being only a teenager when he was diagnosed, and making the most of his time here, I feel truly inspired. I think back to being a young teenager and being a complete wreck when my mom found out she had cancer. Being told that that was you, and that you had months to live... I can't even put myself in that position. This is such a good reminder to always leave people like it's the last time you're going to see them, because you never truly know when it will be. 

"You don't have to learn that you're dying, to start living."  -Zach Sobiech

After a challenging day at work yesterday, full of two year olds who weren't in the mood to listen, I got home and relaxed, watched videos of Zach and smiled, thinking of the next chapter that he gets to experience. I bet Kelsey was up there, right at the gates, introducing herself and offering to show him around. That again, made me smile. 

After chatting with Joel and telling him how much I truly appreciate him and love him and how I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life, he informed me of other not-so-happy news; the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. My YouTubing self got right back on my laptop and watched video after video of the devastation that happened yesterday afternoon. Once again, for maybe the twelfth time, my heart just sank for all of the people involved. I had never seen anything like it. After learning that the tornado completely demolished elementary schools, I felt so sad knowing the children were killed. And unlike the school shootings, I felt heart broken, instead of angry, knowing that good old mother nature was to blame. I immediately thought what it would have been like to go through something like that with my two year olds. I got to work this morning and told my director that we need to do practice drills for emergencies, pronto, because I need to feel 100% comfortable being in that position if it ever comes down to it. The thought of having to lay completely on top of my kids in order to protect them from a tornado, scares me half to death and then my co-teacher and I had a good, enlightening laugh at how much our kids would hate that. 

So friends, 

and you have the ability to put it into perspective. You have the ability to find the silver lining in not-so-fortunate times. 

Go hug someone. 

Go tell someone you love them. 

Friendly Sunday Reminder;

“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.”

 

 

Greatest feeling in the world, to have high speed internet again! Hear my big sigh of satisfaction! Inconveniently, the day or two before Joel headed back to Minnesota, I saw a change in how responsive my internet was, or lack of response, I should say. As you all know, I despise calling Comcast or any other important company where I have to potentially sit on hold for 30 minutes and then try and understand someone who barely speaks English. Luckily, I am learning from Joel and calling Comcast has become less of a chore, because, I've learned to relax a bit and not get so annoyed or anxious on the phone. I thought to myself that I didn't want to call Comcast, that I could just put it off like I usually do, but holy moly, Joel is gone for a full month and what in the world am I going to do with myself? I don't have him here to accomplish this problem for me. Long story short, Comcast came and fixed the problem but it wasn't fixed. My laptop was swarming with viruses that were continuously getting worse because I wasn't aware of them. Thank goodness for a landlord that knows way too much about computers and who owns a computer repair store on the side. I was quick to bring it to her upon our realization and now I have it back within 24 hours. With Joel being gone for the past two weeks, and me being without internet, I have felt motivated to start working out again. I wonder how long this will last, especially now, since I have a wonderful working laptop again. I think I can, I think I can. 

I have been getting such a kick out of people's responses when I tell them that Joel is back in Minnesota until June. "Oh my gosh, you poor thing!" ...... "awwwe, I bet you want to go home too, don't you?" .... "I bet you get lonely!" Ummmm, for your information people, I am awesome by myself. I could forever be in my own company and I would be fine. I luckily, have the mentality, that if I am bored, which, that's rare, there is always something to clean. Or books to read, or there are a thousand blogs out there that I could get lost in. Or Pinterest is always a goodie, and don't forget Facebook. But, I have to say that I am proud of myself, because these last two weeks that I've been without internet, I have been strict with myself about eating right, packing myself healthy lunches to bring to work daily and I have even been... (drum roll) making chicken for myself that tastes almost as good as Joel's chicken, imagine that! For those of you who don't know, I am kitchen impaired 100% and Joel makes all of our meals, he does all the baking/cooking and he likes it. And I like it more. Who doesn't like getting dinner made for them every night? Even though I have been doing awesome co-existing all by myself, I always anxiously await his arrival home, along with the delicious dinner he usually cooks for me that night. 

A few weeks ago, I responded to a post on Craigslist about a once a week babysitting job for a single mom with a three year old girl. After those emails, we played a bit of phone tag and we eventually met at a coffee shop here in Loveland. After hitting it off with 24 year old mom, I decided to take the once a week job to help her out and let her have a bit of a life of her own, even if she couldn't afford to pay me what I usually make babysitting. I put myself in her position, being a single mother, and knowing how badly I still need "me" time, I felt like I needed to help her out. I know that eventually when I am a mother, I will be the same way. No matter what, spending time with myself is something I enjoy and need and I know that won't change even after I have littles. Also, while hanging out with her and her little girl, I noticed that her mini didn't know any of her colors. My two year olds know their colors and shapes and some letters and oh man, I just want to help this girl! 
Speaking of my two year olds, if you haven't seen my status on Facebook today, shout out to my monsters who are doing such an amazing job potty training. I left work today, high on life, feeling amazing and so proud of a couple of them who are staying dry the majority of the day and going potty, when they aren't doing so at home! Makes me feel fantastic! Hoping that I can be successful with my own children someday and also hoping they have a childcare provider like myself to encourage them while they're at school. 

Now, given, my work place is The Goddard school, where hella potty training goes on, but there have been plenty of times when I've accidentally referenced going to the bathroom, as "going potty" to other adults and the looks on their faces are priceless. 

Before Joel headed back to Minnesota for his month long tour, he told me about an oppurtunity that he had gotten in regards to a 17 year old guy from Lakewood, MN, who found out he had 6 months to a year to live after discovering he had cancer. Like Joel, he writes music and plays guitar. After learning he had such a short time left with his friends and family, he wrote a song, called, "Clouds" for them as a means of closure. Joel was asked to learn his song and preform it at his benefit back in Minnesota. Joel obviously was more than willing. 

This is Zach. I'm warning you, you will cry. 

Did you cry like a baby? I did. It just breaks my heart. Joel told me the other day that Zach is now very weak and was unable to be at his own benefit. I can't imagine what that would be like and I admire him for how he chose to look at life and live out his last days. Not knowing Zach personally, it's still going to be heart breaking to find out when he goes on. I'll have to mention to Kelsey that she needs to show him around up there. 

On a more uplifting, happy note....

Cheers, Minnesota!

It feels good to be moving Forward!

I'm sitting here in my sweats, kitty on my lap and hoping to get a text from my director saying that I don't have to go into work today. Today would be the day that my uninsured self would get into an accident on the lovely, slippery roads down to Longmont. Along with the nasty weather we've gotten the last two days, I've acquired a nice stuffy, yet flowing nose and I'm blaming it on my two year olds. It's one of those where simply plugging it up with Kleenex is the only remedy and I'm obviously looking really good right now doing so.

Last week I called my brother on my drive home from work. I was very in the mood to chat, imagine that, and I was in search of some advice about my work situation. Being in childcare for about 6 consecutive years, I am wondering more and more how much longer I want to be in this profession. It somewhat stresses me out because, what the heck else would I do? I love kids and I think I would miss working with them every day but at the same time, I don't look forward to getting up each morning and going to work as I used to. I have absolutely no money to go back to school right now, or the mindset to do so. After an encouraging conversation with my brother, who is such an awesome business man and person, with really great work ethic, I was off to the library to check out the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." If you have not read this book, I highly advise you to do so. I knew it would be a goodie for many reasons, one being that I have previously heard of it and it was also on the book list on Pinterest entitled, "Books to Read in Your Twenties." After being determined to find the book myself last night and being successful, I sat on the cozy leather chair at the library right in front of the fireplace and watched the fluffy snow accumulate outside the window and soon was completely lost in the greatness. I then thought to myself how happy I am to live right across the street from the library, where I have books and books to get lost in if I please to do so. I even said to Joel the other night as we sat together on the couch, "Libraries are amazing and probably the best invention ever." or something along those lines. Joel's response was simply, "Yeah, if you're into that sort of thing." I get such a kick out of how different we are and how much we still adore each other. This book is also reason why I am crossing my fingers for a 'snow day.' I cannot put it down. 

This weekend was pure awesomeness. Aside from getting out of work late on Friday and anticipating being late to see OAR, our drive to Vail flew by, and we walked through the gates, I kid you not, seconds after OAR started playing their first song. On top of that greatness alone, a friend of mine from Minneapolis was in town for the weekend with friends on their spring break and had invited us to come celebrate at their condo, which was literally a hop, skip and a jump away from the stage that OAR was preforming on. What I had to share with all his friends and wonderful people that I met that night, was how we became friends in the first place. Believe it or not, it was bonding over our love for OAR in a random bar in Uptown about 3 years ago. Picture me yelling singing, loudly into my finger microphone to 'Crazy Game of Poker.' 

I laughed in the crowd as the lead singer commented on how it was cold there, and I overheard the guy next to me saying, "Cold? Where are you from?" It was perfect weather, and perfect temperature for being crowded in together, body to body, listening to such great music, that brings me back to previous years. I also found it entertaining, being in the bathroom with girls after the show, who had no idea who OAR was before the show started. Youngins! As the show ended, we ran into friends from Breck that we haven't seen since our move out here, and laughed at how perfect it was for us all to be in that exact spot at that moment, and literally run into each other as we did. Every day, we think to ourselves how life always works out the way it's supposed to and how great it is. I cannot say it enough.

Heaven, is where I was on Friday. 

Our drive home on Saturday, was amazing. If you have never made the drive from Vail back to where we live in Loveland, I don't even know how to describe it to you. I guess I should say, any drive near Vail, Breck, Frisco, that area. Both Joel and I felt not so wonderful due to our life celebration the night before, but it was almost like our bodies and/or minds were not allowing us to actually feel crappy, because it was so amazing outside and everything was so beautiful. If that even makes sense to you. If you've been there, you get it.

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Blog recap: I did not take that job at the liquor store down from my work, because as I feared, refusing to work for 10 hours every Saturday, was sadly the deciding factor. Sadly, but I guess not sadly. There is no way. So here I am again, not so actively looking for a second job. Now, I might as well wait for this month to be over because, (drum roll) ....... my girlfriends will be here in 8 days to celebrate my birthday! Once again, I am reminded how time flies and that next week is almost here. The big 2-5, whoop whoop! I can see our first summer in Colorado flying by. I have already been here for almost 6 months! Crazyyyyy! 

The one, single thing bumming me out at this moment, is the fact that I am unable to meet the little bundle of awesomeness that my girlfriend brought into the world last week. 

But, here I am, thankful for technology, because without it, seeing her face would not be possible. Congrats to my love, Adrienne, for making one, adorable baby girl, Sloane. I cannot wait for the day to hold her.

It's been another solid day and I'm giving all the credit to sweet, sweet Mother Nature. I am crossing my fingers and praying that it decides to stay. I should really just be happy that even though it snowed last weekend, it has completely melted and is now 65 degrees. We need the moisture so badly, but I selfishly want warm weather immediately. I suppose when I really think about it, I'm going to prefer bonfires to no bonfires while camping this summer so perhaps I should just be happy when and if we get snow next. Bring on the camping! 

We would have loved to go camping this weekend (Joel's Birthday weekend) but he ended up having a show tonight and tomorrow and I decided to babysit. So, after church on Sunday (we'll see how it goes this time around) we may be taking off for Horsetooth Reservoir for some nature lovin. Take that how you want to.

Just this week, I walked into a liquor store down the road from my work and saw in huge black letters a "NOW HIRING" sign and thought to myself how perfect that is, since I haven't wanted to put in the work to get myself a second job, I've just been waiting for one to fall into my lap. ;) While chatting with the manager, a short, friendly little Asian man, I was straight up about what I was looking for and told him that I "still wanted time to play in the mountains this summer" so I wasn't looking to work like crazy, only 10 to 15 hours a week, since I am already working full time. This morning, he called me back. He said after talking to the owner, they thought I would be a good fit. He also was wondering if I would be willing to take all the hours of the girl that is leaving. Tuesday and Wednesday night 5:00-10:00 I am fine with, but the 1:00-11:00PM shift every Saturday. No. frickin. way. He seemed to be kind of taken aback by my straight forwardness when I said, I would be willing to work that every other Saturday and that I would definitely be happier not sacrificing every weekend just to make a little more doe. It's almost summer, guy, hello! Now, I have to figure out my next move if that's the deciding factor on me getting the job or not! Yikes, might be a toughy! 

Earlier this week, my cousin and his family came into town. They had been spending their spring break driving all over, exploring and hiking in Montana and then here in Colorado. I said to Joel that someday, we will have space and money to house and feed a family of five when they are in the area, but right now that is just not possible. So, we spent our Tuesday night, visiting with them in their hotel hot tub and catching up. Last night we all crowded happily in our cozy little duplex for pizza and bonding, which are two things that my family does best; eating and talking. If too much pizza and Dove Chocolates existed, we had it. Like I've said before, it feels so wonderful to have my people here with us, experiencing and enjoying a chunk of our life here in Colorado. I was bummed to see them off but wished them safe travels back to Wisconsin. Not one of them was looking forward to their drive through Nebraska and I don't blame them. 

This week I figured it was smart to ask for my time off for Durand (my families annual float party) since it's summer and I figured many would be requesting days off very soon. She kept me on my toes as she flipped through the time off binder and thought out-loud that that weekend was also Amy's wedding. You have no idea how nervous I felt and how I just couldn't put the words together to tell my director how important it was to me that I make it home that weekend. I exhaled deeply as she told me that it should be fine. And then I cheesed all the way back to my classroom.   

Side note: my job is going so very well and I am still loving it. 

I suppose you are wondering how my little Oscar is doing. Well, a week after his teeth pulling extravaganza, 30 teeth (!!!!!!!), I should say, he is doing great.

He is spending more time out and about and less time in the closet. He isn't eating dry cat food and he has actually lost weight, sadly. I took him in for a check up exam this morning and was told I need to, what I would think to be over feeding him until he gains the appropriate amount of weight back. He is now making up for lost time and is eating well but apparently not enough. So, here's where my second job comes in... I have to feed him at least 4 times a day. That means 4 cans of fancy feast. My god, is he an expensive cat. I just keep reminding myself that he's alive and making awesome progress every day, and the amount of money I've paid for him in the last couple weeks, isn't the most important thing to me. We go back from one more check up next week and I'm hoping for some weight gain. Cross your fingers, friends! 

Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat.

I just found this and had to share it, and let's be real, I've already posted far too much on Facebook today for it to be my status! ;) 

Raise your hand if you love social media! (hand raise)

 "Don't hang out with people who don't love you. Don't try to impress people who aren't worth it. Don't try to win people over who aren't worth it. Focus on yourself, and focus on the people who are really awesome and who love you. Don't hang out with people who make you feel like shit. Don't spend your energy on them." 

One Big Bowl of Lazy.

Yesterday was a weird day for me.
I, for some odd reason felt motivated to work out, which very rarely happens, as you know, and then I tried 3 different work out videos, that have seemed to hold my attention in the past, and then failed to complete them. Now, mind you, I finished the first one and  "fastest work out ever" because it was 4 minutes long and then failed at the second and third ones that were 10 and 15 minutes long. What is my issue? This is one good reason why I need to spend more time eating right and drinking water, because I cannot for the life of me find motivation to start working out consistently. This has always been an issue of mine and I have no idea how I went to school for personal training and saw myself motivating others when I can't even motivate myself. Then again, working out is addicting when you're in the routine, but if you're not, good luck getting yourself into that routine. I know that I would spend time at a gym if I had a membership, but I don't have money for a membership and unlike my last place, I actually have space to work out at home, believe it or not, those of you that have been here. It's small, but it works, so I might as well take advantage, I guess. If I have room to hula hoop, I definitely have space for a floor routine or work out DVD. Gosh, I can't wait to hula hoop outside and be a hippie this summer. 

Along with working out, I shaved one leg in the shower last night and actually contemplated getting out before doing the other. It must have been the "don't finish what you start trend" I had going. That is laziness if I ever saw it. Prime example of needing to eat more green food, food high in energy! See? I did learn a thing or two in my fitness and personal training classes back in 2006! Wow, that seems like a long time ago. I'm glad I love growing up and not despise it, like some.

I so badly wish I was that woman then set her alarm for the same time everyday, and at least 4 of those days during the week, did some kind of physical activity before showering and getting ready for work. Thank you, Pinterest for informing me of the best times during the day for waking up, eating breakfast, working out, eating meals, and winding down for bed. But, knowing me, I printed it off, contact papered it and made it look appealing to the eye, and now it's has been collecting dust on my desk and I haven't referenced it once. Such a hard habit to get into. I frequently think about, setting a goal for myself, and then rewarding myself with something if a month goes by that I've accomplished my goal, like buying myself something. Some new Spring and Summer clothes :) Then reality kicks in and I think to myself that I am too broke to buy myself something as a reward and that I would have to get a second job that I don't want to get and have been putting off and then if I got that job, I definitely wouldn't have time to work out at night and I would be far too tired to work out in the mornings before work. First world problems. I am getting nowhere. 

Speaking of Pinterest and things I have been having a hard time finishing, I am determined to finish a book I started weeks ago, but it's become a chore and I am to the point where I get annoyed, picturing it sitting in my car or on my nightstand, waiting for me to read it on my lunch break or before bed. It was on a list I found with all the other books that are great to read in your twenties.

It's been interesting reading about conjoined twins, but I think about how badly I don't want to finish it and then about this quote: 

.... and I'm done with it. 
On to the next book on the list and I'm crossing my fingers it's one I can actually get lost in. Pinterest doesn't usually fail me so I'm labeling that book as a fluke and hope for the best on the next one.
I take that back, Pinterest definitely failed at telling my girlfriend it was a good idea to line a painting tray with tin foil before filling with paint. You blew it, Pintetest, the foil came up every time we tried to get paint on the roller. Not impressed. 

Sitting here, I can tell that my terrible, terrible eating habits lately are seriously getting the best of me. I have a knot in my stomach and I ate not too long ago, and have a head ache, all right now. And you better believe it, I am back to getting head aches daily. I have for the last week and a half and that is literally, the only thing that has changed, my eating habits. I don't know why, but cake and cookies have looked all too delicious lately. I am not pregnant, don't even think it. 

On that note, tonight, I am going to look at blogs and focus on pictures like this:

and on trying to feel motivated to do physical activity later.

Tootles!

Hello, Spring!

Oscar is doing amazing already. Just in the 3 nights that he has taken his antibiotics, he is acting different. He slept with me the entire night last night (in Olive's spot-- I wonder how she felt about that) and he don't remember the last time he's slept with me, not including this last weekend. I woke up, and he was energetic almost, compared to how he's been the last handful of months, and followed Olive and I around all morning as I got ready for work. This is pretty normal for Olive but it's rare that he leaves his hideout in the closet, so I immediately was all smiles this morning. Just now having been home from work for a couple hours, he's been out and about, still somewhat sketchy, but we're making progress. Although, I wonder, even when he is feeling better and is healthy again, if he will still spend a lot of his time in our closets out of habit. I am wondering how I can kind of train him to be social and sleep out on the couch or kitchen table like Olive does. Thinking I might have to hit up Barne's and Noble for a cat book or two... and then maybe a book or two for myself. Actually, bad idea. I am spending enough money on making him healthy again. Sheesh! 

The weather today was amazing! Still is, I should say, and it's almost 6 PM. It was in the low 70's and it will be again tomorrow. Don't you dare snow now, Colorado! It is starting to feel like Spring more and more everyday. 

 
The heat has been off for the last couple days and the windows have been open! I've been trying to distract Olive from Oscar getting his soft food by opening our huge windows for her. It definitely works. I was looking at my calender last night and read that March 20th is supposedly the "first day of Spring." Well, Spring has sprung already in my book. My drive home today was awesome. I got out on time, high five(!) and then took a back road home to avoid an accident on 287 that I luckily saw far enough in advance. My warm, sunny cruise home was not disrupted and I enjoyed a road I had never been on, which was the home to many cute little farm houses, and barns (if you remember, I'm a sucker for a big, awesome barn-- well, farm land in general) and many cows, horses, ponies and even llamas. It made me think of when I was younger, my cousins and I would ride our bikes along a short country road and their grandparent's llamas would run alongside us. They are such hilarious, stupid looking animals. 

bahaha. 

What else makes me so overjoyed at the moment, is thinking about my birthday weekend. It's been confirmed that two of my girlfriends will be flying in from Wisconsin and San Francisco and staying for a long weekend. And possibly two more from Wisconsin and the Chicago area. Ask me if I'm excited. Holy moly, am I excited!!! This may possibly be the best birthday yet, even though I say that every year. :) 

This weekend, Joel and I are going to the Wild vs. Avalanche game with our friend's from Vail, who also grew up in Minnesota. I hear that Avalanche games are hella fun and the fact the I get to be sporting my Wild gear from back home, with fellow Minnesotans, makes me all that more excited. And it's at 1 PM--- dayyy drinkingg! There's a a good chance I might be hung over for St. Patty's Day this year.

Cheers!

Oscar.

I felt like a mother yesterday for the first time ever in my life, sitting in a private waiting/exam room at the Loveland Cat Clinic. Over the weekend, as I was enjoying my lazy, snowy day inside, drinking coffee and blogging as I usually do, I noticed Oscar, my cat child was acting a little weird. And by weird I mean cuddly. Since I've had Oscar, so for about two and half-ish years, he's always been shy and somewhat skittish. I somewhat just came to accept that he was just a different cat. I thought of myself as the mother with one very social, outgoing child, (Olive) and one not so outgoing and extremely shy child (Oscar). Hey, who knows, someday that may be accurate. Over the past few months, Oscar has become more and more lazy. He very rarely comes out of our closets to hang out with Joel and I and when Olive wants to play, he gets scared and runs away until she stops chasing him. Poor Olive just wants her brother back, the one that she came to know and love when she was a little six month old kitten. He has gotten more and more skinny and no longer looks fluffy and beautiful like he did the day we adopted him. I tried to keep up with brushing him and cutting out his little dread locks that have acquired over time but I could no longer keep up with them. He has always been a weirdo when it comes to eating too. He never eats straight from his bowl of food. He'll take out one or two pieces of dry cat food, put it on the floor, next to the bowl and eat it that way, very daintily.Which breaks my heart because yesterday I found out why he's been doing this. And he's been doing this for way too long. That night, I started looking online, reading about signs and symptoms of common cat illnesses and also found the clinic that I took him too and reading about the vet there, I knew that was where I wanted to take him. As I read, he became more and more snuggly. I thought to myself, "Please don't die tonight." Knowing that animals get that way right before they die and knowing that I would have to deal with it alone, because Joel was out of town in Breck visiting some friends. Oscar slept with me that night (which he hasn't done forever) and when I woke up in the morning, he was quick to jump back up on my bed and cuddle me some more. I knew after that night and morning, that it was definitely time to stop putting off bringing him in. He had every sign and symptom of Feline Leukemia to a 'T'.

After waiting for almost an hour, I kid you not, Joel and I joked about asking for a discount since we waited so long. But then quickly decided that was definitely not going to happen, because we felt so thankful and relieved by the end of our appointment. We high-fived after being told that Oscar tested negative for Feline Leukemia and FIV but were moderately heart broken when the vet told us that he has a very bad disease of the mouth and gums, I can't remember the name. But, we were told it's not contagious (thinking of Olive) and it's genetic. I just thought back to over a year ago, when he would eat weird and sometimes choke on his food and I then I feel even more horrible because I now know that he was uncomfortable and  struggled with eating for this reason. It has gotten so bad, that almost all of his teeth need to be pulled. This explains why he has lost weight, and has an extreme case of dreadlocks; because it hurts him to eat and to bathe himself, pretty much do anything with his mouth. 
Poor. Little. Man.
After being the most calm, collected little thing, and sitting so nicely through being shaved, we were sent home with antibiotics, pain medication, cans of recovery food packed with crazy amounts of nutrients, as well as ham flavored baby food, and are scheduled for his teeth pulling extravaganza next week. My heart broke and got all warm at the same time, as the vet shaved him and Oscar pulled her arm closer with his paw and then gave her a loving snuggle and head but to the shoulder as she finished removing all his mats. She said they were so matted, it was uncomfortable even for him to walk and thank goodness I didn't try and cut them myself because they were so close to the skin, I could have cut right into him and not have known. The uncomfortableness explains why he has pretty much been camped out in our closet and guest bedroom closet for the last however long.

We got home, gave Oscar his first round of pain medication and antibiotics and watched him eat more in one sitting than we've seen him eat since we've lived here in CO. And it might have been in my head, but his belly felt full and plump as ever, even after that first can of recovery soft food. Olive, I know, feels very left out, as I've been opening cans of food for Oscar, and spending time with him, cuddling him in between his bites, so I've let her lick the can and finish what he has refused to finish. I can't wait for Oscar to run away from her and chase her back once he feels better again. 

Last night, I thought how thankful I felt that Joel didn't have a show and was able to go with me to the clinic. We talked about how weird it would be, to have a child, instead of a kitty sitting with us in the waiting room as we waited for the doctor. No thank you, we aren't ready for that one just yet. I feel so happy and relieved that we don't have to put him down and reassured that Oscar will make a full recovery and once again, be a normal cat.