Do you remember when you could only have a Facebook
account if you were in college? Everyone in the world could have a MySpace
account but you couldn’t have Facebook until you signed up with a college email
address. I felt so excited in 2006 when I
graduated high school, to finally be apart of this world. I’m pretty sure I left my college orientation that Fall and
went home to set up my Facebook account. I blame it on the craze we went through,
having giant cream colored box like things called computers with tiny black
screens and green letters (which makes me feel a super intense desire to play Oregon Trail), to smaller desk
top computers, having no cell phones and then getting big handheld Nokia phones that
you had to pull the antenna out for for better reception. I blame it on the newness
of it all; this technology based world that was about to slap us in the face and never let us walk away from. I’m
sure some of my elders find this funny even, because they went through having
absolutely none of these things to all of them.
Facebook started to feel different later on when all our
parents, relatives and even grandparents joined. I’m sure some of us cut down
on posting certain pictures or writing a particular status for fear of who would see it, it was already becoming an edited life. Think
of what Mark Zuckerberg was trying to accomplish by allowing anyone and everyone
the ability to join. Connections. He wanted to be able to connect people, whether it be for personal or business reasons and growth.
I've been so turned off by something that used to make me feel excited and happy; something that used to take me over for hours on end, in a good way. I could never understand how people did not have a Facebook account. Like, what do you mean you don't have Facebook? I now fully understand how people do not have Facebook. You choose to connect with people in the only real way and I applaud you for that.
Facebook is what we make it, sure, but it's taken a turn towards being hurtful and negative and it sadly does not shock me anymore. I hate to say this. We've become a world where some of us only connect through text messaging, emails and Facebook messages and chats, Instagrams and Snaps, not through face to face conversation and definitely not voice conversations on the phone. This is something that I'm guilty of but am lately feeling a strong desire to bringing it back to where life once was, talking 'organically,' the old fashioned way. But then there's also the other side of it, understanding that most people these days will not connect with you in this way. Ahem, millennials-- (which had I been born six years earlier, I wouldn't be apart of. But I am and I do fit the labels to some extent). This is something that I need to understand and accept. I admit, sometimes I see your name on my caller ID and I just let it go to voicemail. But it's only cause we've conditioned our minds and personalities to become awkward and weird on the phone because we're only used to typing what we feel and what we need to say. We aren't comfortable just being human anymore apparently. How do we train ourselves to be more comfortable feeling and saying and being?
I once heard someone call Facebook “BragBook” and I find
that it could not be more fitting. This may not necessarily be accurate anymore, cause I don't get on much to see every post, but a good majority of my friends only post life's accomplishments, times of happiness and successes. But we all have to understand that hardship is still there, even though it's rarely posted about. Remember that each relationship, mine included, goes through hard times. It's not all sunshine and butterflies but I, myself, am guilty of only posting the happy times and neglecting to post the struggles. I find myself taking full part in BragBook. I post so infrequently because I have a hard time with thinking that I have to prove to the world that I live a happy life. I don't feel like I need to show people this in order to feel it, like that would solidify the feeling or something. This is my dilemma, people. I'm torn between showing and publishing the good, the bad, the extremely hideous and than having every single person and their Mother voice their opinions about my life. Can you imagine what it would be like to be a celebrity or well known person or blogger and to have to be stronger than everyone's unkind words and opinions of you that clearly nobody is afraid to post in the comment section of your Facebook, blog or life? I'm assuming they are confident hiding behind the screen and the typed words and probably would never say such things to your face, but I could be wrong. I have to remind myself that we are all so different and that is okay. We are entitled to our opinions.
Writing is therapy to me; it makes me feel happy, uplifted. But I have found that writing for myself and writing something knowing the world has the ability to read, well, that changes things. I'm a very straight forward person but I find myself editing my words, my pictures and only choosing to post tidbits here and there of the good and the positive. Although with the right mindset, there is little bad in life. It's a constant practice, always searching for the silver lining to the challenges and the sadness in life, but it can be done. It's much easier said than done, I admit. But it's definitely something to shoot for. I had someone confront me once, or assume, I should say, on Facebook, that I didn't understand struggle or hardship. It's not that I don't or haven't experienced it, it's just that I don't choose to post about it. But maybe I should. Would that make people understand that through all the happy and positive posts, I, and others, still feel low, sad, hurt and depressed at times? Because it's truly okay to feel these things even though people don't choose to post about them.
The one negative that I've realized through avoiding Facebook is having no freaking clue what goes on in people's lives. The family far away or that you don't see often, the friends you've moved away from or simply people in your life that you see once and awhile, you are forced to connect with via snail mail, through sending a card, which I love, and just making it a point to reach out to them in order to meet up with them and connect face to face, have a real conversation. I always tell myself to get on Facebook real quick, before seeing certain people to see what's happening in their life recently, like you would do a bit of research before a job interview. It helps with striking up those conversations.
Instead of losing myself in scrolling through Facebook these days, I lose myself scrolling through blogs with beautiful pictures, stories of travel that make me consider changing my profession and constantly adventure around our amazing world. I loose myself in reading the words written by optimistic, inspiring and educated people with greater life experiences than myself. I loose myself in these outlets because it makes me feel happy and inspired and want to be a better person. It teachers me that we are all so different and yet feel so many of the same emotions, even if we don't post about them all. I know that we can all benefit from being more empathetic and understanding of each other's differences and be more supportive of the things people do choose to post about because it's a wonderful thing to be content with who you are as a person even if you don't always agree with what's being posted by someone else.
To me, that is the silver lining to our sometimes negative BragBook world.
