You > The World

There's something wonderful about the sun continuing to shine through my front room window at almost 8 PM. After sporting the heaviest heart for the last 24 hours, it feels great to be reminded that there is still so much good on a day to day basis, things as simple as the sun shining on your face. 

Yesterday morning, a beautiful, amazing soul passed away after his fight with cancer. Zach Sobiech, if you remember him from my last post, died at his home yesterday surrounded by friends, family and girlfriend. Although, I didn't know Zach personally, my heart immediately ached after learning of his death, and I felt tears in my eyes for the people in his life that were close to him. Zach made such an impact on people around the world, being 17 and learning he had only a short time left on this earth. After watching his video on YouTube, "My Last Days," (If you haven't watched it, I suggest you do) I immediately thought of all the people in this world that don't get to say goodbye. Zach said in his video that he was never one to talk about feelings much, so he felt it was easier to turn to music, to help him say good bye to the people he loved, simply so they would remember the words forever and think of the song even after he was unable to sing it. Zach was lucky enough to have something great. Zach being only a teenager when he was diagnosed, and making the most of his time here, I feel truly inspired. I think back to being a young teenager and being a complete wreck when my mom found out she had cancer. Being told that that was you, and that you had months to live... I can't even put myself in that position. This is such a good reminder to always leave people like it's the last time you're going to see them, because you never truly know when it will be. 

"You don't have to learn that you're dying, to start living."  -Zach Sobiech

After a challenging day at work yesterday, full of two year olds who weren't in the mood to listen, I got home and relaxed, watched videos of Zach and smiled, thinking of the next chapter that he gets to experience. I bet Kelsey was up there, right at the gates, introducing herself and offering to show him around. That again, made me smile. 

After chatting with Joel and telling him how much I truly appreciate him and love him and how I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life, he informed me of other not-so-happy news; the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. My YouTubing self got right back on my laptop and watched video after video of the devastation that happened yesterday afternoon. Once again, for maybe the twelfth time, my heart just sank for all of the people involved. I had never seen anything like it. After learning that the tornado completely demolished elementary schools, I felt so sad knowing the children were killed. And unlike the school shootings, I felt heart broken, instead of angry, knowing that good old mother nature was to blame. I immediately thought what it would have been like to go through something like that with my two year olds. I got to work this morning and told my director that we need to do practice drills for emergencies, pronto, because I need to feel 100% comfortable being in that position if it ever comes down to it. The thought of having to lay completely on top of my kids in order to protect them from a tornado, scares me half to death and then my co-teacher and I had a good, enlightening laugh at how much our kids would hate that. 

So friends, 

and you have the ability to put it into perspective. You have the ability to find the silver lining in not-so-fortunate times. 

Go hug someone. 

Go tell someone you love them. 

Friendly Sunday Reminder;

“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.”

 

 

Greatest feeling in the world, to have high speed internet again! Hear my big sigh of satisfaction! Inconveniently, the day or two before Joel headed back to Minnesota, I saw a change in how responsive my internet was, or lack of response, I should say. As you all know, I despise calling Comcast or any other important company where I have to potentially sit on hold for 30 minutes and then try and understand someone who barely speaks English. Luckily, I am learning from Joel and calling Comcast has become less of a chore, because, I've learned to relax a bit and not get so annoyed or anxious on the phone. I thought to myself that I didn't want to call Comcast, that I could just put it off like I usually do, but holy moly, Joel is gone for a full month and what in the world am I going to do with myself? I don't have him here to accomplish this problem for me. Long story short, Comcast came and fixed the problem but it wasn't fixed. My laptop was swarming with viruses that were continuously getting worse because I wasn't aware of them. Thank goodness for a landlord that knows way too much about computers and who owns a computer repair store on the side. I was quick to bring it to her upon our realization and now I have it back within 24 hours. With Joel being gone for the past two weeks, and me being without internet, I have felt motivated to start working out again. I wonder how long this will last, especially now, since I have a wonderful working laptop again. I think I can, I think I can. 

I have been getting such a kick out of people's responses when I tell them that Joel is back in Minnesota until June. "Oh my gosh, you poor thing!" ...... "awwwe, I bet you want to go home too, don't you?" .... "I bet you get lonely!" Ummmm, for your information people, I am awesome by myself. I could forever be in my own company and I would be fine. I luckily, have the mentality, that if I am bored, which, that's rare, there is always something to clean. Or books to read, or there are a thousand blogs out there that I could get lost in. Or Pinterest is always a goodie, and don't forget Facebook. But, I have to say that I am proud of myself, because these last two weeks that I've been without internet, I have been strict with myself about eating right, packing myself healthy lunches to bring to work daily and I have even been... (drum roll) making chicken for myself that tastes almost as good as Joel's chicken, imagine that! For those of you who don't know, I am kitchen impaired 100% and Joel makes all of our meals, he does all the baking/cooking and he likes it. And I like it more. Who doesn't like getting dinner made for them every night? Even though I have been doing awesome co-existing all by myself, I always anxiously await his arrival home, along with the delicious dinner he usually cooks for me that night. 

A few weeks ago, I responded to a post on Craigslist about a once a week babysitting job for a single mom with a three year old girl. After those emails, we played a bit of phone tag and we eventually met at a coffee shop here in Loveland. After hitting it off with 24 year old mom, I decided to take the once a week job to help her out and let her have a bit of a life of her own, even if she couldn't afford to pay me what I usually make babysitting. I put myself in her position, being a single mother, and knowing how badly I still need "me" time, I felt like I needed to help her out. I know that eventually when I am a mother, I will be the same way. No matter what, spending time with myself is something I enjoy and need and I know that won't change even after I have littles. Also, while hanging out with her and her little girl, I noticed that her mini didn't know any of her colors. My two year olds know their colors and shapes and some letters and oh man, I just want to help this girl! 
Speaking of my two year olds, if you haven't seen my status on Facebook today, shout out to my monsters who are doing such an amazing job potty training. I left work today, high on life, feeling amazing and so proud of a couple of them who are staying dry the majority of the day and going potty, when they aren't doing so at home! Makes me feel fantastic! Hoping that I can be successful with my own children someday and also hoping they have a childcare provider like myself to encourage them while they're at school. 

Now, given, my work place is The Goddard school, where hella potty training goes on, but there have been plenty of times when I've accidentally referenced going to the bathroom, as "going potty" to other adults and the looks on their faces are priceless. 

Before Joel headed back to Minnesota for his month long tour, he told me about an oppurtunity that he had gotten in regards to a 17 year old guy from Lakewood, MN, who found out he had 6 months to a year to live after discovering he had cancer. Like Joel, he writes music and plays guitar. After learning he had such a short time left with his friends and family, he wrote a song, called, "Clouds" for them as a means of closure. Joel was asked to learn his song and preform it at his benefit back in Minnesota. Joel obviously was more than willing. 

This is Zach. I'm warning you, you will cry. 

Did you cry like a baby? I did. It just breaks my heart. Joel told me the other day that Zach is now very weak and was unable to be at his own benefit. I can't imagine what that would be like and I admire him for how he chose to look at life and live out his last days. Not knowing Zach personally, it's still going to be heart breaking to find out when he goes on. I'll have to mention to Kelsey that she needs to show him around up there. 

On a more uplifting, happy note....

Cheers, Minnesota!

It feels good to be moving Forward!