28 Days Later.

"Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening…Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed."

I don’t know if I could find a way of explaining my first two weeks of work more perfectly than that. It’s probably a good thing that I’ve waited, and didn’t blog after the first couple days of work because it would have been straight trash talk and that’s just not nice! The first week at my new center was very hard. Driving home from work on my second day, I cried. I was so stressed and thinking to myself, “Holy moly, what have I done??” And the tears just welled. So, okay, I didn’t full on cry, but I was close. Coming from such a new, well-run center, where everyone was a team, and got along so great and going to a center that is pretty much in shambles, worried the crap out of me. That night, I thought about it and readied myself for an intense talk with my boss the next day. On my third day, I walked right into my new boss’s office and told her I didn’t think I could do it. I was so torn because I knew when I interviewed with her; she was someone that I definitely wanted to work for. But working at a center like this, was not “me” and would be very challenging. I can’t describe it any other way than calling it one big mess of a center. She stressed to me that she knew that it was a disaster and began to tell me that I am the kind of person that she eventually wants in every room and that she has to start somewhere. She didn’t want it to discourage me and she wants me to stick it out with her. The first week I was texting the girls I worked with at Hudson and was reassured by all that if I just continue to do what I was trained to do and be the best teacher that I know how to be, things will be okay and people will eventually follow suit. But I, at the same time, think that is not my job. I never had to do this at Hudson. Everyone loved their jobs, worked together to help one another and I was the happiest person at work and I loved my job. I thought to myself that life is far too short to leave work frustrated every day and there is no way that I will have a job that I don’t look forward to going to every morning. I also thought, if I keep this job, I need to get a second job at a liquor store again to get that discount on all the wine that I will be drinking. 

After my second week, things are turning around. A couple girls were hired around the time that I was, who I get along very well with. The girl I have been working alongside, was also a previous KinderCare employee and came back after going back to school for a few years. She also cannot believe the changes in the center from when she was there last, to now. We both follow policies and are doing our best to get things put back together and organized, at least in our infant rooms. I’m happy that I spend the days with her. We are pretty much in our own world. Which, I understand, isn’t a great thing, but until the rest of the center is at our level, I’m cool with it. I get along great with everyone else I work with, but there’s a lazy trend at the center that I just can’t get over. I have a problem with people who don’t thoroughly finish the jobs they start. Things can only get better and that I am sure of. 

I had an absolutely wonderful Friday this week. A few of the babies were gone so we had only 5 infants. In Colorado, the teacher to infant ratio is 1:5. Our Director let us stay together to get things organized so it was a pretty chill day. On my lunch break I got the news that my mom’s oncologist had told her that after almost a decade of fighting cancer, that she was cancer free. My god, did I want to drive across the high way, drive up the Rockies and shout from the mountain tops how frickin excited I was. I seriously thought about it. But, having to be back to work in a half hour was not going to allow me to do so.  So we’ll save that for a later date, because it is definitely possible. Gosh, I haven’t said one thing about those mountains! Driving to and from work every day along the mountains is pretty surreal. Those snow caps get me every day and every day it’s like I’m seeing them for the first time. My first week, driving to work, I thought to myself, “Is this really worth it? My job is frustrating and sucks, but I get to see mountains every day. Do they weigh each other out? Can I have a shitty job but be okay with it because I’m here in Colorado?” At that point, it was 50/50. 

I also got news yesterday that I wasn’t too late to vote. I have been seriously worrying because I am no longer a Wisconsin resident, but haven’t been here long enough to be a Colorado resident. I Googled “Wisconsin Absentee Ballot” and literally printed off 5 forms, filled them all out, mailed them in and hoped with crossed fingers that at least one of them was the right form and that that form would be in before deadline. I received a voice mail yesterday from a lady saying, “Hi Kelsey, I have a few forms here from you but I’m a little confused as to your intentions.” At that point I laughed out loud, called her back and explained that I was just trying to get every possible form in, in hopes that one was the one she needed. Luckily, they don’t often turn people away, so I can go in right away tomorrow morning and vote! I could not be more excited. I will be sporting my, “I voted” sticker all day long. Chalk that to the awesome list from Friday.  

The one thing that is not on the awesome list: Joel is still not here. We were hoping he would be here by Wednesday this past week, but he’s working on paving his parent’s driveway, with pavers… single bricks… that need to be laid individually, and he was set back a bit with the rain and little bit of snow we got back in Minnesota earlier this week. So hopefully by late tomorrow night! I am so ready for him to be here. Yes, I enjoy my own company, and I’ve gone longer without seeing him but I want to be in ‘our’ new place together already! And it’s been 28 days since I’ve gotten kisses.