You > The World

There's something wonderful about the sun continuing to shine through my front room window at almost 8 PM. After sporting the heaviest heart for the last 24 hours, it feels great to be reminded that there is still so much good on a day to day basis, things as simple as the sun shining on your face. 

Yesterday morning, a beautiful, amazing soul passed away after his fight with cancer. Zach Sobiech, if you remember him from my last post, died at his home yesterday surrounded by friends, family and girlfriend. Although, I didn't know Zach personally, my heart immediately ached after learning of his death, and I felt tears in my eyes for the people in his life that were close to him. Zach made such an impact on people around the world, being 17 and learning he had only a short time left on this earth. After watching his video on YouTube, "My Last Days," (If you haven't watched it, I suggest you do) I immediately thought of all the people in this world that don't get to say goodbye. Zach said in his video that he was never one to talk about feelings much, so he felt it was easier to turn to music, to help him say good bye to the people he loved, simply so they would remember the words forever and think of the song even after he was unable to sing it. Zach was lucky enough to have something great. Zach being only a teenager when he was diagnosed, and making the most of his time here, I feel truly inspired. I think back to being a young teenager and being a complete wreck when my mom found out she had cancer. Being told that that was you, and that you had months to live... I can't even put myself in that position. This is such a good reminder to always leave people like it's the last time you're going to see them, because you never truly know when it will be. 

"You don't have to learn that you're dying, to start living."  -Zach Sobiech

After a challenging day at work yesterday, full of two year olds who weren't in the mood to listen, I got home and relaxed, watched videos of Zach and smiled, thinking of the next chapter that he gets to experience. I bet Kelsey was up there, right at the gates, introducing herself and offering to show him around. That again, made me smile. 

After chatting with Joel and telling him how much I truly appreciate him and love him and how I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life, he informed me of other not-so-happy news; the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. My YouTubing self got right back on my laptop and watched video after video of the devastation that happened yesterday afternoon. Once again, for maybe the twelfth time, my heart just sank for all of the people involved. I had never seen anything like it. After learning that the tornado completely demolished elementary schools, I felt so sad knowing the children were killed. And unlike the school shootings, I felt heart broken, instead of angry, knowing that good old mother nature was to blame. I immediately thought what it would have been like to go through something like that with my two year olds. I got to work this morning and told my director that we need to do practice drills for emergencies, pronto, because I need to feel 100% comfortable being in that position if it ever comes down to it. The thought of having to lay completely on top of my kids in order to protect them from a tornado, scares me half to death and then my co-teacher and I had a good, enlightening laugh at how much our kids would hate that. 

So friends, 

and you have the ability to put it into perspective. You have the ability to find the silver lining in not-so-fortunate times. 

Go hug someone. 

Go tell someone you love them. 

Friendly Sunday Reminder;

“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.”

 

 

Greatest feeling in the world, to have high speed internet again! Hear my big sigh of satisfaction! Inconveniently, the day or two before Joel headed back to Minnesota, I saw a change in how responsive my internet was, or lack of response, I should say. As you all know, I despise calling Comcast or any other important company where I have to potentially sit on hold for 30 minutes and then try and understand someone who barely speaks English. Luckily, I am learning from Joel and calling Comcast has become less of a chore, because, I've learned to relax a bit and not get so annoyed or anxious on the phone. I thought to myself that I didn't want to call Comcast, that I could just put it off like I usually do, but holy moly, Joel is gone for a full month and what in the world am I going to do with myself? I don't have him here to accomplish this problem for me. Long story short, Comcast came and fixed the problem but it wasn't fixed. My laptop was swarming with viruses that were continuously getting worse because I wasn't aware of them. Thank goodness for a landlord that knows way too much about computers and who owns a computer repair store on the side. I was quick to bring it to her upon our realization and now I have it back within 24 hours. With Joel being gone for the past two weeks, and me being without internet, I have felt motivated to start working out again. I wonder how long this will last, especially now, since I have a wonderful working laptop again. I think I can, I think I can. 

I have been getting such a kick out of people's responses when I tell them that Joel is back in Minnesota until June. "Oh my gosh, you poor thing!" ...... "awwwe, I bet you want to go home too, don't you?" .... "I bet you get lonely!" Ummmm, for your information people, I am awesome by myself. I could forever be in my own company and I would be fine. I luckily, have the mentality, that if I am bored, which, that's rare, there is always something to clean. Or books to read, or there are a thousand blogs out there that I could get lost in. Or Pinterest is always a goodie, and don't forget Facebook. But, I have to say that I am proud of myself, because these last two weeks that I've been without internet, I have been strict with myself about eating right, packing myself healthy lunches to bring to work daily and I have even been... (drum roll) making chicken for myself that tastes almost as good as Joel's chicken, imagine that! For those of you who don't know, I am kitchen impaired 100% and Joel makes all of our meals, he does all the baking/cooking and he likes it. And I like it more. Who doesn't like getting dinner made for them every night? Even though I have been doing awesome co-existing all by myself, I always anxiously await his arrival home, along with the delicious dinner he usually cooks for me that night. 

A few weeks ago, I responded to a post on Craigslist about a once a week babysitting job for a single mom with a three year old girl. After those emails, we played a bit of phone tag and we eventually met at a coffee shop here in Loveland. After hitting it off with 24 year old mom, I decided to take the once a week job to help her out and let her have a bit of a life of her own, even if she couldn't afford to pay me what I usually make babysitting. I put myself in her position, being a single mother, and knowing how badly I still need "me" time, I felt like I needed to help her out. I know that eventually when I am a mother, I will be the same way. No matter what, spending time with myself is something I enjoy and need and I know that won't change even after I have littles. Also, while hanging out with her and her little girl, I noticed that her mini didn't know any of her colors. My two year olds know their colors and shapes and some letters and oh man, I just want to help this girl! 
Speaking of my two year olds, if you haven't seen my status on Facebook today, shout out to my monsters who are doing such an amazing job potty training. I left work today, high on life, feeling amazing and so proud of a couple of them who are staying dry the majority of the day and going potty, when they aren't doing so at home! Makes me feel fantastic! Hoping that I can be successful with my own children someday and also hoping they have a childcare provider like myself to encourage them while they're at school. 

Now, given, my work place is The Goddard school, where hella potty training goes on, but there have been plenty of times when I've accidentally referenced going to the bathroom, as "going potty" to other adults and the looks on their faces are priceless. 

Before Joel headed back to Minnesota for his month long tour, he told me about an oppurtunity that he had gotten in regards to a 17 year old guy from Lakewood, MN, who found out he had 6 months to a year to live after discovering he had cancer. Like Joel, he writes music and plays guitar. After learning he had such a short time left with his friends and family, he wrote a song, called, "Clouds" for them as a means of closure. Joel was asked to learn his song and preform it at his benefit back in Minnesota. Joel obviously was more than willing. 

This is Zach. I'm warning you, you will cry. 

Did you cry like a baby? I did. It just breaks my heart. Joel told me the other day that Zach is now very weak and was unable to be at his own benefit. I can't imagine what that would be like and I admire him for how he chose to look at life and live out his last days. Not knowing Zach personally, it's still going to be heart breaking to find out when he goes on. I'll have to mention to Kelsey that she needs to show him around up there. 

On a more uplifting, happy note....

Cheers, Minnesota!

It feels good to be moving Forward!

I'm sitting here in my sweats, kitty on my lap and hoping to get a text from my director saying that I don't have to go into work today. Today would be the day that my uninsured self would get into an accident on the lovely, slippery roads down to Longmont. Along with the nasty weather we've gotten the last two days, I've acquired a nice stuffy, yet flowing nose and I'm blaming it on my two year olds. It's one of those where simply plugging it up with Kleenex is the only remedy and I'm obviously looking really good right now doing so.

Last week I called my brother on my drive home from work. I was very in the mood to chat, imagine that, and I was in search of some advice about my work situation. Being in childcare for about 6 consecutive years, I am wondering more and more how much longer I want to be in this profession. It somewhat stresses me out because, what the heck else would I do? I love kids and I think I would miss working with them every day but at the same time, I don't look forward to getting up each morning and going to work as I used to. I have absolutely no money to go back to school right now, or the mindset to do so. After an encouraging conversation with my brother, who is such an awesome business man and person, with really great work ethic, I was off to the library to check out the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." If you have not read this book, I highly advise you to do so. I knew it would be a goodie for many reasons, one being that I have previously heard of it and it was also on the book list on Pinterest entitled, "Books to Read in Your Twenties." After being determined to find the book myself last night and being successful, I sat on the cozy leather chair at the library right in front of the fireplace and watched the fluffy snow accumulate outside the window and soon was completely lost in the greatness. I then thought to myself how happy I am to live right across the street from the library, where I have books and books to get lost in if I please to do so. I even said to Joel the other night as we sat together on the couch, "Libraries are amazing and probably the best invention ever." or something along those lines. Joel's response was simply, "Yeah, if you're into that sort of thing." I get such a kick out of how different we are and how much we still adore each other. This book is also reason why I am crossing my fingers for a 'snow day.' I cannot put it down. 

This weekend was pure awesomeness. Aside from getting out of work late on Friday and anticipating being late to see OAR, our drive to Vail flew by, and we walked through the gates, I kid you not, seconds after OAR started playing their first song. On top of that greatness alone, a friend of mine from Minneapolis was in town for the weekend with friends on their spring break and had invited us to come celebrate at their condo, which was literally a hop, skip and a jump away from the stage that OAR was preforming on. What I had to share with all his friends and wonderful people that I met that night, was how we became friends in the first place. Believe it or not, it was bonding over our love for OAR in a random bar in Uptown about 3 years ago. Picture me yelling singing, loudly into my finger microphone to 'Crazy Game of Poker.' 

I laughed in the crowd as the lead singer commented on how it was cold there, and I overheard the guy next to me saying, "Cold? Where are you from?" It was perfect weather, and perfect temperature for being crowded in together, body to body, listening to such great music, that brings me back to previous years. I also found it entertaining, being in the bathroom with girls after the show, who had no idea who OAR was before the show started. Youngins! As the show ended, we ran into friends from Breck that we haven't seen since our move out here, and laughed at how perfect it was for us all to be in that exact spot at that moment, and literally run into each other as we did. Every day, we think to ourselves how life always works out the way it's supposed to and how great it is. I cannot say it enough.

Heaven, is where I was on Friday. 

Our drive home on Saturday, was amazing. If you have never made the drive from Vail back to where we live in Loveland, I don't even know how to describe it to you. I guess I should say, any drive near Vail, Breck, Frisco, that area. Both Joel and I felt not so wonderful due to our life celebration the night before, but it was almost like our bodies and/or minds were not allowing us to actually feel crappy, because it was so amazing outside and everything was so beautiful. If that even makes sense to you. If you've been there, you get it.

----------------------------------------------------

Blog recap: I did not take that job at the liquor store down from my work, because as I feared, refusing to work for 10 hours every Saturday, was sadly the deciding factor. Sadly, but I guess not sadly. There is no way. So here I am again, not so actively looking for a second job. Now, I might as well wait for this month to be over because, (drum roll) ....... my girlfriends will be here in 8 days to celebrate my birthday! Once again, I am reminded how time flies and that next week is almost here. The big 2-5, whoop whoop! I can see our first summer in Colorado flying by. I have already been here for almost 6 months! Crazyyyyy! 

The one, single thing bumming me out at this moment, is the fact that I am unable to meet the little bundle of awesomeness that my girlfriend brought into the world last week. 

But, here I am, thankful for technology, because without it, seeing her face would not be possible. Congrats to my love, Adrienne, for making one, adorable baby girl, Sloane. I cannot wait for the day to hold her.

It's been another solid day and I'm giving all the credit to sweet, sweet Mother Nature. I am crossing my fingers and praying that it decides to stay. I should really just be happy that even though it snowed last weekend, it has completely melted and is now 65 degrees. We need the moisture so badly, but I selfishly want warm weather immediately. I suppose when I really think about it, I'm going to prefer bonfires to no bonfires while camping this summer so perhaps I should just be happy when and if we get snow next. Bring on the camping! 

We would have loved to go camping this weekend (Joel's Birthday weekend) but he ended up having a show tonight and tomorrow and I decided to babysit. So, after church on Sunday (we'll see how it goes this time around) we may be taking off for Horsetooth Reservoir for some nature lovin. Take that how you want to.

Just this week, I walked into a liquor store down the road from my work and saw in huge black letters a "NOW HIRING" sign and thought to myself how perfect that is, since I haven't wanted to put in the work to get myself a second job, I've just been waiting for one to fall into my lap. ;) While chatting with the manager, a short, friendly little Asian man, I was straight up about what I was looking for and told him that I "still wanted time to play in the mountains this summer" so I wasn't looking to work like crazy, only 10 to 15 hours a week, since I am already working full time. This morning, he called me back. He said after talking to the owner, they thought I would be a good fit. He also was wondering if I would be willing to take all the hours of the girl that is leaving. Tuesday and Wednesday night 5:00-10:00 I am fine with, but the 1:00-11:00PM shift every Saturday. No. frickin. way. He seemed to be kind of taken aback by my straight forwardness when I said, I would be willing to work that every other Saturday and that I would definitely be happier not sacrificing every weekend just to make a little more doe. It's almost summer, guy, hello! Now, I have to figure out my next move if that's the deciding factor on me getting the job or not! Yikes, might be a toughy! 

Earlier this week, my cousin and his family came into town. They had been spending their spring break driving all over, exploring and hiking in Montana and then here in Colorado. I said to Joel that someday, we will have space and money to house and feed a family of five when they are in the area, but right now that is just not possible. So, we spent our Tuesday night, visiting with them in their hotel hot tub and catching up. Last night we all crowded happily in our cozy little duplex for pizza and bonding, which are two things that my family does best; eating and talking. If too much pizza and Dove Chocolates existed, we had it. Like I've said before, it feels so wonderful to have my people here with us, experiencing and enjoying a chunk of our life here in Colorado. I was bummed to see them off but wished them safe travels back to Wisconsin. Not one of them was looking forward to their drive through Nebraska and I don't blame them. 

This week I figured it was smart to ask for my time off for Durand (my families annual float party) since it's summer and I figured many would be requesting days off very soon. She kept me on my toes as she flipped through the time off binder and thought out-loud that that weekend was also Amy's wedding. You have no idea how nervous I felt and how I just couldn't put the words together to tell my director how important it was to me that I make it home that weekend. I exhaled deeply as she told me that it should be fine. And then I cheesed all the way back to my classroom.   

Side note: my job is going so very well and I am still loving it. 

I suppose you are wondering how my little Oscar is doing. Well, a week after his teeth pulling extravaganza, 30 teeth (!!!!!!!), I should say, he is doing great.

He is spending more time out and about and less time in the closet. He isn't eating dry cat food and he has actually lost weight, sadly. I took him in for a check up exam this morning and was told I need to, what I would think to be over feeding him until he gains the appropriate amount of weight back. He is now making up for lost time and is eating well but apparently not enough. So, here's where my second job comes in... I have to feed him at least 4 times a day. That means 4 cans of fancy feast. My god, is he an expensive cat. I just keep reminding myself that he's alive and making awesome progress every day, and the amount of money I've paid for him in the last couple weeks, isn't the most important thing to me. We go back from one more check up next week and I'm hoping for some weight gain. Cross your fingers, friends! 

Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat.

I just found this and had to share it, and let's be real, I've already posted far too much on Facebook today for it to be my status! ;) 

Raise your hand if you love social media! (hand raise)

 "Don't hang out with people who don't love you. Don't try to impress people who aren't worth it. Don't try to win people over who aren't worth it. Focus on yourself, and focus on the people who are really awesome and who love you. Don't hang out with people who make you feel like shit. Don't spend your energy on them." 

One Big Bowl of Lazy.

Yesterday was a weird day for me.
I, for some odd reason felt motivated to work out, which very rarely happens, as you know, and then I tried 3 different work out videos, that have seemed to hold my attention in the past, and then failed to complete them. Now, mind you, I finished the first one and  "fastest work out ever" because it was 4 minutes long and then failed at the second and third ones that were 10 and 15 minutes long. What is my issue? This is one good reason why I need to spend more time eating right and drinking water, because I cannot for the life of me find motivation to start working out consistently. This has always been an issue of mine and I have no idea how I went to school for personal training and saw myself motivating others when I can't even motivate myself. Then again, working out is addicting when you're in the routine, but if you're not, good luck getting yourself into that routine. I know that I would spend time at a gym if I had a membership, but I don't have money for a membership and unlike my last place, I actually have space to work out at home, believe it or not, those of you that have been here. It's small, but it works, so I might as well take advantage, I guess. If I have room to hula hoop, I definitely have space for a floor routine or work out DVD. Gosh, I can't wait to hula hoop outside and be a hippie this summer. 

Along with working out, I shaved one leg in the shower last night and actually contemplated getting out before doing the other. It must have been the "don't finish what you start trend" I had going. That is laziness if I ever saw it. Prime example of needing to eat more green food, food high in energy! See? I did learn a thing or two in my fitness and personal training classes back in 2006! Wow, that seems like a long time ago. I'm glad I love growing up and not despise it, like some.

I so badly wish I was that woman then set her alarm for the same time everyday, and at least 4 of those days during the week, did some kind of physical activity before showering and getting ready for work. Thank you, Pinterest for informing me of the best times during the day for waking up, eating breakfast, working out, eating meals, and winding down for bed. But, knowing me, I printed it off, contact papered it and made it look appealing to the eye, and now it's has been collecting dust on my desk and I haven't referenced it once. Such a hard habit to get into. I frequently think about, setting a goal for myself, and then rewarding myself with something if a month goes by that I've accomplished my goal, like buying myself something. Some new Spring and Summer clothes :) Then reality kicks in and I think to myself that I am too broke to buy myself something as a reward and that I would have to get a second job that I don't want to get and have been putting off and then if I got that job, I definitely wouldn't have time to work out at night and I would be far too tired to work out in the mornings before work. First world problems. I am getting nowhere. 

Speaking of Pinterest and things I have been having a hard time finishing, I am determined to finish a book I started weeks ago, but it's become a chore and I am to the point where I get annoyed, picturing it sitting in my car or on my nightstand, waiting for me to read it on my lunch break or before bed. It was on a list I found with all the other books that are great to read in your twenties.

It's been interesting reading about conjoined twins, but I think about how badly I don't want to finish it and then about this quote: 

.... and I'm done with it. 
On to the next book on the list and I'm crossing my fingers it's one I can actually get lost in. Pinterest doesn't usually fail me so I'm labeling that book as a fluke and hope for the best on the next one.
I take that back, Pinterest definitely failed at telling my girlfriend it was a good idea to line a painting tray with tin foil before filling with paint. You blew it, Pintetest, the foil came up every time we tried to get paint on the roller. Not impressed. 

Sitting here, I can tell that my terrible, terrible eating habits lately are seriously getting the best of me. I have a knot in my stomach and I ate not too long ago, and have a head ache, all right now. And you better believe it, I am back to getting head aches daily. I have for the last week and a half and that is literally, the only thing that has changed, my eating habits. I don't know why, but cake and cookies have looked all too delicious lately. I am not pregnant, don't even think it. 

On that note, tonight, I am going to look at blogs and focus on pictures like this:

and on trying to feel motivated to do physical activity later.

Tootles!