It's funny because I started a blog last night about how ridiculously happy and high on life I was (what's new) and here I am, so thankful to have left work and my monstrous two year olds and their non-listening ears 2 hours early, but I have still been reminded of how good life is and how I need to continue to appreciate 'the little things.' Yes, here I am, blogging about life's greatness and all the little things that remind me so. Again, what's new? After the longest and most frustrating day I think I've had yet, at Goddard, a day full of 10 two year olds pulling each other's hair and clothes, pushing and hitting and even kicking each other, and almost always hearing "NO!" after I've asked them to do something, I was reminded by my co-teacher who brought me Starbucks after her break, that I am not in this alone. After accidentally being somewhat rude to a fellow co-worker on my lunch break, out of frustration with my day, I felt awful and childish, like my two year olds, lashing out and yelling because someone took their baby doll. I was quick to apologize and explain that I was having a tough day but that was no excuse. As I got back into my room after my lunch break and started to clean, I thought to myself, "I am going to embrace this silence," because it took my crabby kids longer to fall asleep today, some an hour later than when they usually do. As the thought crossed my mind, one of my girls woke up screaming because dad forgot to bring her binkie to school today and she was having trouble sleeping without it. I took a deep breath and went to pat her back back to sleep as I looked up and honestly, asked my homeboy upstairs if he could please make her go back to sleep before she woke up the rest of my overly-crabby kids. As little miss no-binkie fell back asleep, another woke up. And another. The cleaning had to get done so I continued to clean in hopes that my babes awake would stay quietly on their beds. 10 minutes later, the co-worker I was rude to, came in and asked me what I had for her to do. Thinking, shoot, principles office, I'm getting a talking to.. which means my directors office, she said, "You get to go home." As I happily packed up my things and pretty much ran out of the center, yelling to my director on my way out, that tomorrow's a new day and that I'm going to bring a good, positive attitude to work, that's when I crossed path's with my thoughtful co-teacher who placed a Starbucks in my hand. As I stopped in my tracks and dramatically slouched my head and shoulders with appreciation, I thought I might cry. It has been ages since I've had such a frustrating day that I felt like tears would do me good. They haven't come yet, although I thought on the way home that a solid cry would have been amazing. I told my center owner today that tonight, I was going to do all the things that make me happy; drink wine, clean, do laundry, listen to techno and watch a little HGTV. Phew, I feel better even having just written all this down. Blogging should have been on that list. 

As I pulled into my driveway and grabbed my work things out of my car, I was approached by my neighbor; a sweet, old lady who lives across the street. For the last few months, she has lived in one side of a duplex, which she owns, and in the other side lives the shittiest person you've ever met in your life. Now, I have a problem with rude people, we know this. I know that we are all human, and sometimes people have bad days (me earlier) but this man sucks. He has 3 young kids, who he swears and yells at and constantly lets run wild, and he hasn't paid this sweet, old lady rent in months. As she's asking me when Joel gets back, to help her move his things out, which was court ordered and a mess, she started to cry. I swear, at that moment, I wanted to hug her and cry with her. On top of my day, I saw how hurt she is and has been, dealing with this man who promised her that he would shovel in the winter and mow the lawn in the summer and hasn't done so since he's moved in. I am looking forward to the time when he's out of there and she doesn't have to deal with the stress and I no longer have to sit in my kitchen on a Saturday and listen to this man yell at his kids and be a terrible parent. Joel and I have said to each other many times, how sorry we feel for these kids because they know nothing different. They are being raised by someone terrible, who is doing this parent thing wrong, in my opinion, so hopefully someday they are level headed enough to realize what it is to be a good person. 

As I'm feeling better by the minute, having gotten all this out and finished my first load of laundry since I've been home, let me tell you what I intended to blog about last night. It's so funny, reading books and articles on making positive changes in your life, and taking measures to actually do so. I am proud of myself for living in the moment more. The last couple days, as I've gotten on my laptop to accomplish things for work, and I've put the work aside and taken the time to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in awhile because the work can always come later. I'm getting better about taking the time to love Joel a little better and give him that 'physical touch' love language that he needs to keep his 'love tank full.' I will always go back to reference that book. Even when I'm motivated to get things done and Oscar or Olive comes to lay on my lap and rub their furry cheeks on me with their love, I take the time to pet them and cuddle them for a minute, because that's important to them. Okay, I sound like a crazy cat lady. Happily. Doing these little things is so much easier said than done, 'living in the moment' in general, is easier said than done. But the feeling you get when you can actually see yourself making those changes, is rewarding.

Last night after catching up with my mom via Skype, I love you, technology, she informed me that her and my dad would be buying mine and Joel's plane tickets home for Christmas this year. After spending about 2 hours at Hobby Lobby in the Christmas section the other night, and smelling all of the Fall and Holiday scented candles at Wal-Mart yesterday, I could not be more ready for the end of the year. As I get older, I find myself loving the start of Fall and that part of the year more and more. Years ago, I would have never been caught saying that I was ready for Fall in the middle of August. Here I am, smelling my rustic retreat candle and looking so forward to buying pumpkins with Joel this year, because he'll be home this year, unlike last. I've always known how amazing my friends and family are, but having lived 17 hours away from all of my people for the last almost year, I've grown a stronger love and appreciation for them. I've also grown an appreciation for where I grew up. Since I've lived in Colorado, I haven't done a handful of my favorite things, simply because they aren't available here. Back home, in the Midwest, I had the Mall of America about 40 minutes away, I had the Minnesota State Fair about 35 minutes away, I had the Renaissance Festival about an hour away. I grew up on the St. Croix River and spent my summers there. Given I have mountains here, which are pretty amazing, I won't be experiencing the Renaissance Festival this year because it's about 4 hours away, along with eating my favorite, deep fried pickles at the State Fair because that's about 2 hours away. I may be being a bit of a baby here, but I look forward to the day that I can raise my family back in the Midwest so they can experience all the great things that I grew up with. Joel and I moved out to Colorado with the mentality of possibly staying forever. Well, we've decided that our love for the mountains will be met again when we have kids that aren't itty bitty, but who won't hate us for moving them 17 hours away from their friends either. Being home a few weekends back over Durand, it was confirmed that I need to have my babies grow up where I grew up, simply because having the support system of your family and friends doesn't compare to how gorgeous the mountains are. 

Let the Sun Shine.

This is far too good to not share and it's far too large to set as my Facebook status. Or so I think.

Enjoy!  

 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you; Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight; Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give your best anyway. 

 

And if the music is good, you dance.

Last night, as I was reading my amazing little book on happiness, Joel called to inform me that there had been some miscommunication and he did not have a show at that little country bar I spoke of. Deciding what to wear and putting makeup on my face did not sound like something I wanted to do when I was cozy on my couch, already in my comfy clothes, book in hand, lap top to my side, candles and incense lit. But for some reason I felt like being spontaneous so I threw on some makeup and a maxi dress and popped the top off my new favorite cider beer.

After running into some people we hadn't seen in awhile, giving them hugs and sharing a few laughs on the street, we accidentally fell into a great night. There's a bar in Loveland that plays all my favorite kinds of music; techno, dubstep, house, you name it, and they have DJs through every weekend. There was a very talented girl mixing all my favorite songs, so of course, I was immediately in love with her and everything she was doing. She took a break and I took full advantage of the opportunity to tell her how great she is and how much I was inspired and how badly I wanted her skills. Joel turned to me and informed me that when he makes enough money someday, he would be happy to buy me my own set of turn tables. I made him promise and then I laughed as I told Joel and his buddy about how I should have been on the show "Made" back in 2004. "I work in Childcare but I want to be a DJ." Do you remember that show? How entertaining. I still think it would be an amazing hobby. I can see it now, childcare by day, DJ by night. Sounds like madness if you ask me. And to sit and mix so many amazing songs and artists together and give people fun beats to get jiggy to, ugh, it sounds like something I want to be fully apart of. Because you know I would be ripping it up behind those tables to all my own beats. It makes me laugh when people ask me what my favorite kind of music is. It catches them off guard for some reason, that I don't understand. Do I not look like someone who likes to get lost in music on the dance floor? "Do you like... dance with glow sticks?" is the question that I particularly loved one time. I mean, I have, yes, and if you haven't, try it sometime! Put that neon pink and yellow glow stick around your head as a head band, put some on your wrists and enjoy everything you are doing. Joel and I were talking about how opposite we are when it comes to music. He plays acoustic guitar and I love my techno and want to DJ as a hobby. That sounds like a reality tv show right there ;) Just kidding! The DJ's name was Chelsea and we laughed as I told her my name and that apparently we were destined to meet. Moving here from Texas with her boyfriend, who also DJs and has taught her everything she knows, she is always looking to make sweet, new friends, just like I am. What completely sucked me in was the moment she started playing a song that came out in the early 90s when techno and house music first started to surface. I remember being in middle school, my brother in high school, and I missed the bus one day. My brother, who is 5 years older was not so thrilled to have to take his little sister to school but let me tell you how thrilled I was after the fact. And I'm sure I had a 5 star day, because we all know music can do that to you. Anyways, Chelsea remixed the song that my brother played in the car that morning. That song was also remixed by Tiesto the first time I had ever seen him in Chicago and the memory of my brother first introducing it to me makes me smile. For some reason that song just sings to me, literally. After exchanging contact info with my new favorite local DJ, and both making it clear that we needed to see each other again, we went home after a very successful night spent on the dance floor. 

See you every single Friday, Chelsmosis, you are awesome. 

The Happy Ones See Only Beautiful Things.

During my two and a half hour long lunch break today, I had Joel meet me somewhere between Loveland and Longmont to take full advantage of my time and enjoy some Starbucks and a community garage sale together. The neon pink sign screamed at me as I passed it this morning. Along with two camping chairs, a garden hose, two lamps, a couple nick nacks, Battleship... yes, Battleship (50 wonderful cents spent) and a book about happiness, I felt it was a pretty wise $10 spent. Now, you know me, being the sucker that I am for quote books, I could not walk away from the gem I found today; a book called, "I Wish You Happiness" and it's a book written entirely by children. Umm, does it get any better? As I sit here on this lovely Friday, refusing to go to Joel's show at a little country bar that is entirely not my scene, I am reading this amazingness, smiling and even laughing to myself. Now, upon opening the book, I figured it was full of happiness quotes and then amongst all the goodies, occassional quotes by children. Oh no, entirely by children. At first I couldn't figure out why the publishing company would allow so many spelling and grammar errors. And then I realized that children wrote their thoughts and it was put in the book completely, 100% their own. How awesome. Let me show you how great this is: 

The things that make me happy are

flowers and dimonds and butterflys and

ladybirds all things that are coloured

and clowns make me laughe and the sun

and summer and the snow makes me

happy and toys makes me and sweets and 

the hedgehogs are nice althow they are

prickly and I think everything makes

St. Valantine very happy and sheep and cow's and 

goates and I like the birds and it makes

me laughe when I see peple with arrows

through there ears and I like the rainbow

and the lightness and I like the stars and

the moon and I like the fields and I like 

neklises and braselits. 

-Elizabeth Wright

Unfortunately, this is one of the few without an age written by the name but, holy moly is that awesome. I just smiled as I read and laughed out loud at parts, especially the last line and it's most likely because of the spelling. Oh, seeing the world through the eyes of children. It's times like this that I again think how lucky I am to have the job that I do and have been able to stay in it, happily for almost six years. The fact that I get to teach, and play with, and talk to two year olds 40 hours a week is something special. Being silly with them, and teaching them manners and how to love their friends and give hugs and all that emotional, good stuff, ugh, it just makes me happy thinking about how I spend my days. The other day as I sat outside in the grass with a couple of my girls, I was fixing one of their pony tails when one came up to me, nicely stroked a solid strand of hair of mine and said, "Ms. Kelsey hair pretty." It's moments like this that make my job. Reminding my two year olds that it's important to tell their friends "thank you" and that they "willy like the dinoswar" shirt that they're wearing today is important to me. KinderCare ladies back home, you can imagine how big I am on having my two year olds give each other hugs. Ah, I just love my kids. 

The other week, I was asked by my director and owner if I would like to step up to a lead teacher position, because their was an opening. As you may already know, I am qualified but stepped down to "Assistant Teacher" when I took the job, because that was what was available at the time. Now 4 months later, my director has informed me that I have instilled so much trust and confidence in her and have shown so many lead teachers tendencies and qualities that she no longer wants me to assist, she wants me to be able to have my own room. The two and half year old room was available and the more I thought about it, the more stressed and nervous I became, simply because two is my comfort zone age limit, believe it or not. Given I work well with all children but I do so much better with the younger ages. It simply comes more natural to me. So luckily, my co-teacher who was, at the time, the lead teacher, who is so flexible and great, stepped down from the lead teacher position in our room, so I could have it and went to the room next door, so I didn't have to leave my comfort zone and all of our awesome children. Needless to say, I bought her a card and a coffee and told her how much I appreciate her doing so, just so we could both have our own rooms. It's been a change this week, having a new assistant teacher, but any change is challenging with two year olds. I am aware that after a few weeks, everyone will be comfortable again. The summer months are pretty easy to coast through and all my lesson plans are done through July. Thank you awesome co-teacher! So starting August I will be fully in charge of daily lessons and all that good stuff. From what I hear, it's work... that I'm not used to (KinderCare curriculum was all laid out for you, all you had to do was implement) so it will be a change. But it's definitely something I can do, especially with the slight raise I demanded.

Cheers!

You > The World

There's something wonderful about the sun continuing to shine through my front room window at almost 8 PM. After sporting the heaviest heart for the last 24 hours, it feels great to be reminded that there is still so much good on a day to day basis, things as simple as the sun shining on your face. 

Yesterday morning, a beautiful, amazing soul passed away after his fight with cancer. Zach Sobiech, if you remember him from my last post, died at his home yesterday surrounded by friends, family and girlfriend. Although, I didn't know Zach personally, my heart immediately ached after learning of his death, and I felt tears in my eyes for the people in his life that were close to him. Zach made such an impact on people around the world, being 17 and learning he had only a short time left on this earth. After watching his video on YouTube, "My Last Days," (If you haven't watched it, I suggest you do) I immediately thought of all the people in this world that don't get to say goodbye. Zach said in his video that he was never one to talk about feelings much, so he felt it was easier to turn to music, to help him say good bye to the people he loved, simply so they would remember the words forever and think of the song even after he was unable to sing it. Zach was lucky enough to have something great. Zach being only a teenager when he was diagnosed, and making the most of his time here, I feel truly inspired. I think back to being a young teenager and being a complete wreck when my mom found out she had cancer. Being told that that was you, and that you had months to live... I can't even put myself in that position. This is such a good reminder to always leave people like it's the last time you're going to see them, because you never truly know when it will be. 

"You don't have to learn that you're dying, to start living."  -Zach Sobiech

After a challenging day at work yesterday, full of two year olds who weren't in the mood to listen, I got home and relaxed, watched videos of Zach and smiled, thinking of the next chapter that he gets to experience. I bet Kelsey was up there, right at the gates, introducing herself and offering to show him around. That again, made me smile. 

After chatting with Joel and telling him how much I truly appreciate him and love him and how I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life, he informed me of other not-so-happy news; the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. My YouTubing self got right back on my laptop and watched video after video of the devastation that happened yesterday afternoon. Once again, for maybe the twelfth time, my heart just sank for all of the people involved. I had never seen anything like it. After learning that the tornado completely demolished elementary schools, I felt so sad knowing the children were killed. And unlike the school shootings, I felt heart broken, instead of angry, knowing that good old mother nature was to blame. I immediately thought what it would have been like to go through something like that with my two year olds. I got to work this morning and told my director that we need to do practice drills for emergencies, pronto, because I need to feel 100% comfortable being in that position if it ever comes down to it. The thought of having to lay completely on top of my kids in order to protect them from a tornado, scares me half to death and then my co-teacher and I had a good, enlightening laugh at how much our kids would hate that. 

So friends, 

and you have the ability to put it into perspective. You have the ability to find the silver lining in not-so-fortunate times. 

Go hug someone. 

Go tell someone you love them. 

Friendly Sunday Reminder;

“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.”

 

 

Greatest feeling in the world, to have high speed internet again! Hear my big sigh of satisfaction! Inconveniently, the day or two before Joel headed back to Minnesota, I saw a change in how responsive my internet was, or lack of response, I should say. As you all know, I despise calling Comcast or any other important company where I have to potentially sit on hold for 30 minutes and then try and understand someone who barely speaks English. Luckily, I am learning from Joel and calling Comcast has become less of a chore, because, I've learned to relax a bit and not get so annoyed or anxious on the phone. I thought to myself that I didn't want to call Comcast, that I could just put it off like I usually do, but holy moly, Joel is gone for a full month and what in the world am I going to do with myself? I don't have him here to accomplish this problem for me. Long story short, Comcast came and fixed the problem but it wasn't fixed. My laptop was swarming with viruses that were continuously getting worse because I wasn't aware of them. Thank goodness for a landlord that knows way too much about computers and who owns a computer repair store on the side. I was quick to bring it to her upon our realization and now I have it back within 24 hours. With Joel being gone for the past two weeks, and me being without internet, I have felt motivated to start working out again. I wonder how long this will last, especially now, since I have a wonderful working laptop again. I think I can, I think I can. 

I have been getting such a kick out of people's responses when I tell them that Joel is back in Minnesota until June. "Oh my gosh, you poor thing!" ...... "awwwe, I bet you want to go home too, don't you?" .... "I bet you get lonely!" Ummmm, for your information people, I am awesome by myself. I could forever be in my own company and I would be fine. I luckily, have the mentality, that if I am bored, which, that's rare, there is always something to clean. Or books to read, or there are a thousand blogs out there that I could get lost in. Or Pinterest is always a goodie, and don't forget Facebook. But, I have to say that I am proud of myself, because these last two weeks that I've been without internet, I have been strict with myself about eating right, packing myself healthy lunches to bring to work daily and I have even been... (drum roll) making chicken for myself that tastes almost as good as Joel's chicken, imagine that! For those of you who don't know, I am kitchen impaired 100% and Joel makes all of our meals, he does all the baking/cooking and he likes it. And I like it more. Who doesn't like getting dinner made for them every night? Even though I have been doing awesome co-existing all by myself, I always anxiously await his arrival home, along with the delicious dinner he usually cooks for me that night. 

A few weeks ago, I responded to a post on Craigslist about a once a week babysitting job for a single mom with a three year old girl. After those emails, we played a bit of phone tag and we eventually met at a coffee shop here in Loveland. After hitting it off with 24 year old mom, I decided to take the once a week job to help her out and let her have a bit of a life of her own, even if she couldn't afford to pay me what I usually make babysitting. I put myself in her position, being a single mother, and knowing how badly I still need "me" time, I felt like I needed to help her out. I know that eventually when I am a mother, I will be the same way. No matter what, spending time with myself is something I enjoy and need and I know that won't change even after I have littles. Also, while hanging out with her and her little girl, I noticed that her mini didn't know any of her colors. My two year olds know their colors and shapes and some letters and oh man, I just want to help this girl! 
Speaking of my two year olds, if you haven't seen my status on Facebook today, shout out to my monsters who are doing such an amazing job potty training. I left work today, high on life, feeling amazing and so proud of a couple of them who are staying dry the majority of the day and going potty, when they aren't doing so at home! Makes me feel fantastic! Hoping that I can be successful with my own children someday and also hoping they have a childcare provider like myself to encourage them while they're at school. 

Now, given, my work place is The Goddard school, where hella potty training goes on, but there have been plenty of times when I've accidentally referenced going to the bathroom, as "going potty" to other adults and the looks on their faces are priceless. 

Before Joel headed back to Minnesota for his month long tour, he told me about an oppurtunity that he had gotten in regards to a 17 year old guy from Lakewood, MN, who found out he had 6 months to a year to live after discovering he had cancer. Like Joel, he writes music and plays guitar. After learning he had such a short time left with his friends and family, he wrote a song, called, "Clouds" for them as a means of closure. Joel was asked to learn his song and preform it at his benefit back in Minnesota. Joel obviously was more than willing. 

This is Zach. I'm warning you, you will cry. 

Did you cry like a baby? I did. It just breaks my heart. Joel told me the other day that Zach is now very weak and was unable to be at his own benefit. I can't imagine what that would be like and I admire him for how he chose to look at life and live out his last days. Not knowing Zach personally, it's still going to be heart breaking to find out when he goes on. I'll have to mention to Kelsey that she needs to show him around up there. 

On a more uplifting, happy note....

Cheers, Minnesota!

It feels good to be moving Forward!